And Then There Were Three

On June 12^th, our world changed forever. Our beautiful daughter Cameron was born. It was the best day, and one of the scariest days of my life. I have tried to write down her birth story several times, and it just seems so BIG, and hard to put into words. I have put it off because I want to make sure I do a good job, and do it justice. I realized that if I keep putting it off, I may forget things I want to make sure I write down, so I decided to just start writing and see where it takes me.

I wrote it all down. Every tiny detail. It’s for her, and it will always be for her. I have decided not to share it all openly, this just feels right. I went back and forth, but the intimate details of our experience are for us, and I feel good about keeping it that way. With so much of our lives on the internet these days, this is just one thing I want to keep.

What I will say, is that I never in my life really thought that I would end up on the operating table, having a C-section. I know that sounds stupid, because it is always a possibility in labor, but I just never thought that is how my experience would go. It was very traumatic for me. I couldn’t talk about it for weeks. I would just burst into tears randomly, and I definitely think I had some PTSD from my labor. I don’t think you can really understand it unless you have been through it, it is hard to put into words. I remember the moment my doctor (who I love!) told me that it wasn’t going to happen. I felt so defeated, and so scared. There were no other options, and the longer we waited the harder it was going to be to get her out safely. The further away from the experience I get, the easier it is to talk about it. I am able to look back on all of the good and the amazing things that happened that day. Thank GOD for C-sections, that safely get babies into this world, and keep mommas healthy. I am so thankful that my beautiful baby was born absolutely perfect, and that my husband was right beside me and got to see it all. He wanted to deliver her, so it was very cool that he got to see her come into this world. I will never forget him saying “our daughter is beautiful!” and looking at me through tear filled eyes.

Cameron Davis Jenks was born at 7:27, weighing 7 lbs., 4 oz, and 20 inches long. She was absolutely perfect and so beautiful.

When I finally got to hold her in recovery, I realized that I was a mom. I have wanted to be a mom my whole life, and I feel so incredibly blessed to be hers. She is amazing, and we are so in love.

Those days in the hospital were super emotional for me. I was recovering from a traumatic delivery, and baby girl was jaundice and had to have light therapy for 36 hours. I forgot I could put her in clothes we brought until day 3. I remember saying to Tim “I am taking her out of her tanning bed for ONE pic of my baby in a bow and pretty blanket”.

We got to come home after 4 nights in the hospital, but I got readmitted two days later for postpartum preeclampsia. I was on magnesium sulfate for 24 hours (aka no fun) and spent two more nights at good ol Baptist Health. Luckily, I got to take baby girl with me, and Tim stayed and slept on the couch with us. My blood pressure was quickly stabilized, so that was a huge blessing, but preeclampsia is super scary. I had NO idea you could get it once the baby was born. I was SO swollen it was unreal-I looked like Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal. My feet didn’t even look real!

So, to say we had an eventful labor, delivery, and postpartum recovery would be an understatement. I look back on it and can’t believe how well we coped with it, you just do what you have to do to make it through. I am so thankful for an excellent team of doctors, and angel nurses who made it much easier. I am so thankful for my husband who hardly left my side. I am thankful for my best friend for her multiple Chic-fil-A runs. Thankful for my momma who came and helped with Cameron in the hospital, and most of all thankful that I am healthy and that our sweet baby girl is healthy.

If you have been through a tough labor, I am here to tell you it is OK to say, “that sucked”. I found the most comfort and support in friends who let me talk about it openly and be honest about how hard it was. A lot of people want to tell you “healthy mom healthy baby, that’s all that matters!” which of course, is the objective, but it is still ok to talk about how hard it was. I had to mourn the labor I wanted and thought I would have. I had to emotionally process everything we went through. I know in labor and delivery, there are MUCH worse outcomes. I know that. I got to bring my baby home. I got to be awake for her birth. It was still very, very scary for me. But it is our story and our experience, and I am thankful that we are all here and healthy! I even said recently “I miss those early days in the hospital!” and Tim just looked at me like I was crazy, but there was something so sweet and special about them.

I would do it all again for you, baby girl. WE LOVE YOU so much!!