Welcome to the world tiny girl! You are not my niece, but since you are my BFF Chrissy’s niece, I shall be your Aunt Allie. We are so excited you are here. Your Aunt Chrissy and I have spent many an hour over a bottle of wine discussing how we can’t wait to play with you. We have also burned our fingers on hot glue constructing you presents of grosgrain ribbon and rhinestones. You will be the most fashionista baby ever, thanks to the two of us. I am sure your momma will wonder why her baby looks like a prosti-tot after spending the weekend with us, but I think you will look just fabulous. As your auxiliary Aunt, I thought it was my responsibility to outline some things in life that you should know about your sweet Aunt Chrissy. She has many claim to fame, and here are just a few:
1. she is the best nurse ever.
2. she often gets asked if she has a bump it in her pony tail. Au-contraire. She does not.
4. she often battles with gravity, she has a knack for tripping over NOTHING in 2 seconds flat. It really is remarkable. And she has the scars/bruises to prove it.
5. she has had more cell phones than me. This is a true feat. You never know what kind of phone Aunt Chrissy will have. It may be your grandpas old blue razor, or it may be your grandmas Zack Morris phone. We never know. All we know is that she always manages to loose, drop in toilet, run over with a car, leave in a cab, lose outside in the snow, lose the back of phone at a bar, break in half, her cell phone. So Baby Ava, if you have trouble reaching Aunt Chrissy on her cell, she probably lost it during a hot night with a Latino on her cougar cruise. Just sayin’.
7. she is one of the best people I now, and will be such an amazing aunt to you sweet baby girl!