I sent this to a sweet girl yesterday, and thought maybe, just maybe, it could help someone else. Whether an engagement ending, a breakup, a divorce-whatever, heartbreak is heartbreak. Now I don’t have all the answers…but here are my two cents, for what their worth:
My heart goes out to you. I know all too well what you are going through. It is SO hard going through an engagement ending. It has been almost three years now since I called off the wedding, and I swear just in this past year did I finally start to feel normal again. It takes some time, but it does happen.
I am not sure of the circumstances for why yours ended, so I will try and tell you what I DO know about how to deal, and how to move forward.
I found so much comfort in strength through leaning on my family and friends. I couldn’t have done it without them. Cling to the ones close to you, they will be there for you. Do NOT I repeat DO NOT look at this facebook, it is just better that way. You can hide him from your news feed too so you don’t see his stuff popping up all the time. it just helps you to not get upset over silly little things, and keeps your mind from wondering…
I felt like I was drowning. nearly everyday. I questioned myself a lot, but I STILL had this overwhelming feeling of relief if that makes sense, like I had made the right decision. I did the whole cry in bed and eat ice cream and watch the notebook, but I promise that makes you feel worse after the first day or so. 😉 I recommend taking care of yourself. work out, eat right, take care of your skin, get yourself ready and be productive. It helps you just feel more on top of things, and more put together, even when you feel like you are falling apart. Those are the things you can control right now, and the things you can pat yourself on the back for at the end of the day.
I had a really hard time with losing his family. They were my family. And the thought of them not being my family anymore was devastating. That is totally normal. They will always love you, and continue to be there for you, I promise. And once enough time passes and life calms down, you may even still see them.
I promise you, it does get better. with each day that passes you will feel a little more like yourself, and it won’t hurt as much. I am not sure how old you are, but I promise you, you are young, and you have all the time in the world to find someone else, who is the RIGHT one for you, and you will be like OOOOH this is why that didn’t work, and you will be so so thankful for it. I was 25 when I called off the wedding, and thought “OMG, I am NEVER gonna find someone else” but honey, 25 is so young. There is no need to rush into anything before it is RIGHT.
You won’t forget him, or forget the memories you made with him. And that is ok. Those things shape who we are. But you will forget what it is like to have feelings for him, and when that day comes, you will genuinely be able to be happy for him, and be happy that you both made this choice. I promise, promise it will be ok, and it will get better, even though it doesn’t feel like it now.
Have you heard this song? It really hit home for me, and hopefully you can find some comfort in the words. Of course, Miss Underwood 😉
And also, one more thing. Life is funny… and he may have a way of coming back into your heart and life, and THAT is ok too. Just listen to your heart, and pray about it. God has a plan for you, so hold tight to that truth. Also, please remember, that the only people that can say if the relationship is right or wrong are the two of you living it, so try and tune out others opinions. At the end of the day it is YOUR life and YOUR decision of what is right and wrong for you. So be strong.