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Karma is a beotch.

Ok, I had another post scheduled for today, but I have moved it to tomorrow because I know you want to hear of my morning brush with Karma.

Every morning I stop at the SAME gas station to get a 32 ounce diet coke, in a styrofoam cup. 
It’s my thing, let it go. 
So I am waiting in line, in front of a Santa Clause look alike, who’s chatting me up about how he thinks I have a red headed twin runnin’ around in Florida… when I think to myself “PLL, WHAT the heck do you think is taking so long?”
Dumb and Dumber behind the counter are apparently having some issues with the register, and everything has shut down. I continue to wait TWENTY more minutes as people with actual cash pass me and drop dollars on the counter before leaving with their morning snacks.
I have no cash. 
What is this cash? 
Where do I get some? 
I rely on my debit card for EVERYTHING, which clearly, needs to be assessed. 
Even Santa leaves the line and pays for his slim jim and natty light, swear, but I guess I didn’t remind him enough of his Floridian friend for him to spring a good deed and offer to pay for my 69 cent diet cocktail. 
So I am getting pissed at this point, I know it isn’t their fault but common, PLL gots places to be.  
I decide to high tail it outta there, sans paying for my merchandise. I buy things from them EVERY morning, it’s fine if this one tiny drink is on the house right? I’ll just get them back tomorrow morning. That was my rational anyway. 
So I walk out, with my contraband cocktail in hand, feeling quite jailbird-esque. 
I kid you not, the second I climb into jeepie, some damn invisible Christmas elf hits my hand causing the diet coke to spill in ENTIRETY all over me, and my car. The entire thing. There were almost tears.
Fabulous. No diet coke. And there is ice in my pants.
And this my friends, is WHY I need a reality show. Tune in next time, for another episode of Blondetourage. That’s definitely what I’d call it.
Moral of the story? 
Karma is a beotch people. Don’t steal diet coke. 

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  1. Lindsey says:

    hahahahaha you told this story EXACTLY how I would have. I'm going downstairs to get a diet coke from the cafeteria now. Thank you. I think I'll pay for it.

  2. Caitlin says:

    Oh my gosh, you crack me up! "and there is ice in my pants" it may be the lack of sleep and the craziness of finals week, but this definitely made me giggle. Hate that karma wasn't kind to you this morning though!

  3. Oh my goodness. I'm laughing out loud. I've definitely spilled an entire drink on myself in the car.

    And I would totally watch your reality show! πŸ™‚

  4. AllyM says:

    ahaha…as horrible as that is, its pretty funny. Annoying, but funny. I've had a 32oz spilled all over me, not a way to start a morning. FOR sure.


  5. Erin says:

    I am dyyyying at work!! I'm sorry this happened but seriously, it is amazing.

  6. OMGGgg. haha I'm dying. I saw your tweet and had no clue there was such a lovely story behind it.

  7. Bri says:

    I read your tweet this morning and was wondering what happened! OMG what a mess!

  8. Kate says:

    OOooh no! I hope you were able to clean up and get the ice out from down yonder! Were you able to get your diet coke fix after the escapade?

  9. Megan says:

    Karma is a beotch! She got me a few weeks ago when I went to litter out my car window, just a tiny gum wrapper. As I went to roll my window up, it WOULDNT GO! So I frantically floored it home, cranked up the heat since it was 30 degrees out & thankfully my Dad fixed! Moral of this story… never ever again will I litter! Hope your day got better & ends fabulously!

  10. wow hillarious but I would have done the same thing.

  11. Ally says:

    HAHA this story is too funny. Those invisible elves!

  12. Michelle P says:

    Ahhh that stinks! I hate it when cashiers take forever.

  13. Hahah wow thats crazy! You probs don't want to hear it but I'm gonna say it anyway…..drinking diet coke everyday is no bueno for you. Make karma was looking out for your health too? πŸ™‚

  14. Hannah says:

    oh mah word… you do need a reality show haha πŸ˜‰ hope your day got better!

  15. Nicole says:

    Awe I hate that im laughing so hard when this def wasnt funny to you at all this morning. I hope your day has turned out better and I am one those peeps to that never carries cash I mean why carry around that green stuff when you got plastic.

  16. The Bases says:

    HA! You must really love your diet coke!

  17. Sarah says:

    What a great story! I mean, I hate wet clothes more than anything but I think I would just have either laughed or started crying. You crack me up!! Hope your day got better πŸ™‚

  18. shay says:

    o man… that sucks… better luck tomorrow? that karma, she's a total beyotch!

  19. Jessi says:

    Awww! I feel like Karma would've gotten me for that one too…I must not have enough of it stashed up for a measly Diet Coke!

  20. K says:

    Oy I hate when that happens. You poor thing! I have instant karma too. I was about to say something super clever (and a little mean) to a friend of mine and began to giggle about how funny I was going to be… with a mouth full of beer… that I immediately began to choke on. I thought I was dying. Why can't we get away with something at least ONCE!

  21. Annabelle says:

    I sure hope that your day got better! Ya might want to keep some change in the console of Jeepie for emergencies! I'm a Jeep girl myself! πŸ˜‰

  22. Ashley says:

    I have been reading your blog for a while now and your stories are soooo funny!! Thanks for the good laugh. I am too a fellow drinker of Diet Coke in a styrofoam cup πŸ™‚

  23. Aimee L says:

    God must have you under His thumb…that crap happens to me alllll the time! Like if I say some snarky comment about someone, 30 seconds later I'll trip and stub my toe or something, seriously! He never lets me stray out of line, haha!! You must have the same "luck" as me!!

    Definitely made me laugh…good thing 'cause Raven's post had me in tears!!

  24. Merinda says:

    Sorry about your bad luck. But, it did make me laugh. πŸ™‚ Hope your day gets better!

  25. Gina says:

    Ahahahahaha! I am impressed with your ballsy thievery!

  26. CafΓ© Moka says:

    Haha, you cannot get away from Karma!

  27. I am trying not to laugh sweetie but this is FUNNY! LOL The image of Trashy Santa and "ice in yo pants" makes me giggle! Hope your day got better!!!

  28. Brekke says:

    Oh my word, what a tragedy!! I'm so sorry but I had to laugh because it sounds like something that would SO happen to me.

    One of my co-workers and I would carpool and we ALWAYS stopped for a large Diet Coke at the Gate station on the way into work. Sometimes we'd get snacks too, but soon we realized that if we didn't get snacks they always gave us the Diet Cokes for free. Like seriously, we got cokes for free for years!! One employee said they didn't make that much $$ off the fountain drinks, lol.

    Sooooo, don't feel bad about the whole "Grand Theft" thing, lol!!

  29. Katie says:

    That is too funny. Hope your pants dried or you were able to go home and change.

    I had a rough morning earlier this week like this.

  30. Wow what a story. Santa could have been a little more giving!!! Lesson learned.

  31. Rebecca says:

    poor thing! You racked up a lot of bad karma so some super good karma is probably just around the corner =]

  32. Santa bought a Natty light first thing in the morning. Awesome.

  33. Petchie says:

    Wowww this is the funniest thing ever!! I'm sorry that happened though, but its very funny. And I never carry cash either, I really mean to start, but I jut never remember.


  34. Lay says:

    This is the funniest post I read today… Thanks for the laugh!

  35. Ugh! That sucks!! Hope you got it all cleaned up! I would have given up on that line a LONG time before you did.
    And I never have cash either–I use my debit card for everything. ha ha

  36. Savannah says:

    What a story! I totally believe in karma, but wish it wouldn't have attacked you today. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!!!

  37. lori says:

    hahah aw you poor thing! not a good start to your day!

  38. Jess says:

    HILARIOUS!!! I mean hopefully you are at the point where you can laugh about it now. πŸ˜‰ I for sure originally thought you were going to say you got arrested for stealing a 69 cent beverage. Thank the lawd that was not the case!

  39. Cori H. says:

    It's horrible, but karma will get ya every time! Sorry your morning had to start out like that! Hoping tomorrow morning will be much better!

  40. Mrs. WASP says:

    Oh my word! What an awful way to start your day!

  41. Your story reminded me of this recent human interest story I read, after reading it I'm almost hesitant to go near the free samples! Couple eats before paying

  42. Lauren says:

    hahahaha! Oh no! Serves you right! πŸ™‚

    Happy Friday Eve!

  43. This so makes me laugh, but it totally sucks!

  44. Funny. I personally hate cash and my debit card is my lifeline, too. Debit cards are the future! LOL

  45. Glitterista says:

    Oh no! The upside is you definitely made me laugh this morning! πŸ˜‰

  46. Amber says:

    PLL, just last week I had a very similar experience with karma and Diet Coke! – only it involved 2 cans exploding in the freezer at work – in which my boss found = NOT GOOD! Bless your heart!

  47. Crystaljk78 says:

    Bahaha! Sorry you got spilled on – that's totally lame. But I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who never has cash. Who has time to go to the ATM for cripes sake?
    P.S. Very cool that you drive a Jeep. Me too πŸ™‚ I swear I will never have a regular old car again.

  48. Delaney says:

    hahahahahahahaha you just made my whole day πŸ™‚ Sorry you had to get diet coke all over you. I would have cried. haha and thats why I can laugh πŸ˜‰

  49. Carolyn says:

    OH MY GOSH! I am completely not laughing that this happened… except I am. πŸ™‚ "I have ice in my pants" BAHAHAHAHA! I can't believe Santa didn't offer to pay the 69 cents. Dumb.

  50. Marion says:

    LOL! That is hilarious! I totally would have done the same thing. Although I'd probably be wearing white.

    Love it. You just made me laugh out loud.
    XO – Marion

  51. Erika says:

    Lmao…I too HEART the chemically delicious diet coke. And rely on my debit card for everything. Cash might be convenient but if flys if it's on hand, I am not accountable with cash whatsoever.

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