Motherhood is hard, makeup doesn't have to be.
I simplify makeup for busy moms.

no thanks Pam Anderson, no thanks.

Do you ever lust over something, and then finally order it only to have it come in and be COMPLETELY wrong. Well that happened. Not to me, but to my sissy Becky, which basically means that it happened to me because we a. live vicariously through each other and b.  steal each others clothes all.the.time.  
Exhibit A: Becky- my sissy.
 {it’s fab having a sis you can share clothes with. The baby sis is soo tiny, I can only steal some of her things. If it’s moo moo-esque.}
Exhibit B: Hannah- Baby sis. 
I just had to include two of her Halloween costumes from this past year (te he). I give you “Rose from Titanic” and “Toddlers and Tiara’s”. You’re welcome. And yes, she is this hysterical all the time. 
So back to the story. Baby sis had ordered a Vickie’s bombshell bathing suit. Sweet precious is so tiny, that she of course, had to get a smaller size top than say Becky or I would. It looked great, fabulous, so of course Becky and I must have this top as well. I told myself I wasn’t buying it until after I hit my goal weight (if you remember from here) but Becky decided to go ahead and order one. 
We were both so excited when it came in, I just had to see how awesome it looked, so that I could look forward to ordering mine as well.  
Omaword y’all. 
Holy mother of padding. This thing could keep a grown man afloat. I guess with the increased cup size  they increase the padding amount as well. I kid you not, the span of my boobs whilst sporting this porn star top, out sized my hips. And that my friends, is no easy task. 
Sadie was even terrified, I mean look at that face. Sheer horror is what that is. 
I don’t know what Victoria’s Secret was thinking, but you gotta be outta your mind if you think that is OK. I mean maybe there is a market out there for this top. The Jenna Jamison wanna-be market. Shew, needless to say I will not be ordering this devil device, and sissy will be returning hers. 
So in conclusion, if you have been contemplating purchasing the bombshell bathing suit top, and are of the chestier variety, you might want to think twice. I am still so upset over how good it looks on baby sis, and how drop dead ridiculous it looked on me and Becky. Whatever, can’t win em all. 
Consider yourself warned. 
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  1. Laura says:

    oh no! i'm scared! FYI: I was grazing at vicky's the other day, and DID YOU KNOW… they make the bombshell bras with all the padding with ERECT NIPPES built in because the padding is so THICK they nips won't naturally be seen. maybe for some girls, not for me… thankyouverymuch.

    I wish I was kidding.

    anyway, thanks for the DILF post. duly noted. he's so dreamy….

  2. Mrs. Parker says:

    Ha! Thanks for the warning!

  3. Yeah…that's a flotation device…

  4. Suze says:

    Girl. I just blogged about need for a supportive top for a swimsuit, any ideas?! you are what i consider a fashionista in my word! please tell me you have ideas for stores on where to get a supportive swimsuit top!?

  5. Um yes I've tried the bra version on with that and it's insane and literally hurt to wear I think if girls are buying these you should just get the implants lol or cutlets! The padding was totally out of control!

  6. Mateya says:

    What the heck?! haha!

  7. Laughing out loud … love it. And as a sidenote, I think I may have to order that!

  8. stephanie says:

    I cannot imagine who would want that. Personally I prefer my boobs not touching my chin but that's just me.

  9. JMB says:

    THAT my friend is not a bathing suit. THAT is a floatation device.

    I am trrrying to hit my goal weight too! I am taking that romper back I bought from TJ maxx last night that I blogged about today because 1. The bottom portion is teee-totally not flattering.
    2. I will be tinier (after my Hibachis/sushi / Sauvignon Blanc dinner tonight)
    3. I bought a dress last night in a size 4 because I DID NOT want to buy the 6!!!!!!!!! I refuse…..although my hips are saying BABY GIRR you a 6!!

    Whoa. Freakout all over your blog. I know you still love me.

    And Sadie girls face is toooo funny haha
    I hope you have a great weekend child.

  10. LHD says:

    Oh my geez! What if you saw someone really wearing that (that didn't need to be!). Wow. I don't have much but that would push me waaayy over the edge – no pun intended. 🙂

  11. Mrs. Nelson says:

    You crack me up! I couldn't help but laugh my butt off! 🙂 Thank you…I needed that today.

  12. Katie says:

    You mean you don't like this look?? BAHAHAHA This is hilarious!! Your sister seems like a riot. I love the Kate Winslet look she's giving while posing…looks dead on! ha ha

  13. Rissy says:


    I wonder what it would look like wet? weird.

    O and I think I might have to steal your sissy's toddlers and tiaras costume. That is awesome!

  14. The Toddlers and Tiaras costume absolutely cracks me up! Hilarious! Your blog is so fun and I can't wait to read more!

  15. Amber says:

    I'm a little blessed on top we will say – and I tried on one of their bombshell tops – I felt like an absolute freak wearing it and that was only in the dressing room. I wouldn't come out and show it to my friends. Definitely not made for women who are already large on top!

  16. Mighty Burns says:

    ok I am a mini bust girl myself and I went and tried one on too.. and the first thought I had was.. these are going to be so heavey when they get wet! lol.. I did not buy!

  17. Becky says:

    Let me say first how excited I was when I ordered what I thought was the solution to the "I lost 5 pounds and it all came from my boobs" situation. Such a disappointment!! Either these bras are made for a woman who is actually indented, or the execs at Victoria Secret think we all want to look like Coco Austin (Ice-Ts busty bride). Either way, I'm kind of frightened by my purchase and will indeed be returning it.

  18. melissa says:

    You three are too funny! And what is up with that top!?!!? Can you imagine how much water all that padding would hold? It would be HEAVY when you got out of the pool. Shoot, a girl could drown holding that much water! haha

  19. Mandy says:

    Hahaha I love the toddlers and tiuras idea. Soo very funny! The top is huge. The picture of Sadie next to it is too good. lol

  20. Cheryl E. says:

    Well that stinks. I know what you mean about getting so excited for a purchase and then it totally doesn't live up to your expectations…such a bummer!

  21. S says:

    Oh my!!! I just laughed so hard at the pic of the swim top over the tank top – hilarious!!! Maybe they should market it as an alternative to a life vest.

  22. Mari says:

    That has def. happened to me, well i could use the padding (lol) but still… Too much is too much=)

  23. Mal says:

    this was hilarious!

  24. Adrienne says:

    Oh wow thanks for the heads up! I have never ordered that type before, but I have certianly wondered about them. Not for me!! haha

  25. Ashley says:

    That's ridic!!! I try not to buy a whole lot of padding in my swim suits anyhow. Thanks for the heads up!!

  26. Becca says:

    This cracked me UP! Those are ridiculous! Thanks for the heads up NOT to buy them!

  27. Ainslee says:

    I laughed so hard over this.
    P.S. Heard that Carries hubby got traded to the Nashville Predators so they are finally going to get to live in the same city.
    P.S.S. I gave you a blog award here,

  28. Abby says:

    I'm going to need to go buy one right now! I need all the help I can get!!!!

  29. I love both of those Halloween costumes! I'm a new follower by the way : )

  30. Raven says:

    love love love your blog!! oh and I know a lot of people send you stuff on Carrie, but I just saw this — how dare they ban her music??!

  31. Lauren says:

    You absolutely crack me up! I saw this and thought about how my girls need some of that padding, haha!

  32. Jessica says:

    That top is crazy! I think all that padding would be uncomfortable to have on. I love your baby sis's costumes – too funny!

  33. Oh dear lord! My hubby would give me a serious side-eye if I tried to wear that in public.

  34. Angela says:

    That padding is insane! I went to buy the miraculous bra when it first came out thinking it might be fun and when I picked it up in the store is was HEAVY! They need a padding intervention, haha. And your sis is adorable- love the toddlers & tiaras costume! 🙂

  35. Leslie says:

    Oh my goodness!! That is a ridiculous amount of padding! and on a swimsuit?? when it gets wet it will take hours to dry!

  36. Jamie says:

    How funny!

    You and your sisters are all gorgeous! I'm loving your baby sister's T&Ts outfit!

  37. This is pretty hilarious. It is unbelievable how they think that an increase in size should mean an increase in padding–what on earth?! Too funny!

  38. ashbash:) says:

    Haha so funny!
    I love your blog and left you an award 🙂

  39. OH MY WORD…i've tried this little devil gem on before (the bra, not bathing suit)and wowza. Definitely not for the faint of heart! lol. I can't believe that they actually make it as a bathing suit too! hilarious.

  40. Shasta Anne says:

    Lady Talulah Belle (pug daughter) and I laughed so hard while reading this post! Poor Miss Sadie, girl thought that thing was going to eat her!

    So funny that as soon as Becky mentions "CoCo", Ice Tea's wife, I remember my visual impairment from seeing her "invisible g-string" in a YouTube video that MY sister had emailed to me!

  41. J says:

    Just found your blog through Life With a Lab – so cute! 🙂 You are adorable! Checking out your twitter now too!

  42. Jill says:

    Bahahahaha! OMG that thing is out of control!!!!! I don't even think I could pull that off (and I have like no boobage to speak of and can use all the help I can get!)

  43. I have the bombshell bra and I hardly ever feel comfortable wearing it! It promises to boost you two cup sizes, and that it does!! You girls should hit up the store to get bathing suits, the have a lot of cute ones and trying on is a must… VS sizes are all over the place. A medium in one is an extra small in another!

  44. Amber says:

    WOW! Bombshell bathing suit for sure. Luckily I haven't had a problem with any VS suits yet. I am sure there are a few ladies that want a little extra size though.

  45. English says:

    Totally thought your sister's costume in the Titanic picture was an american apparel ad spoof. THank goodness for the necklace!

  46. Tracy Stage says:

    That is without a doubt a flotation device if I have ever seen one hahaha. I absolutely loved your sister's Halloween's costume…the toddlers and tiara's one..too freaking cute!!!

    I also just LOVE reading your blog. You are one of my favorite bloggers! :]

  47. Mandy says:

    I am stealing your sister's costume ideas. She seems hilarious!

  48. Cait says:

    omg that is SOOO FUNNY what a great idea and hilarious pics 🙂

  49. Rach says:

    So glad you posted this because I almost ordered that top and since I've, um, got large girls, I'm glad I didn't because I would look ridiculous!

  50. teeny says:

    hahaha! This post made me laugh! your too funny!

  51. Day Old News says:

    Rose has to be the most creative costume I've seen in forever, I'm dying over that! And the bra is ridonk, too funny.

  52. Dreah87 says:

    Well good to know!! I am of the chestier variety as well (D/DD) and I LOVE Vickie's bathing suits. But yes, I have tried on the bombshell bra for kicks with my bff who is a B at best.. And she looked good. I looked straight hooker.. I think it make me an F.. like NOT ok. So glad someone else felt bigger is NOT always better..


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