Motherhood is hard, makeup doesn't have to be.
I simplify makeup for busy moms.

Adult Truths

a. It is Friday. Hallelujah.

b. Check out this crafty extravaganza the roomies and I performed last night. I give you “bows, veils, and cocktails” (credit Chrissy!)

c. The following made me laugh today, thanks LeeLee for sending. Enjoy!!


1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
Have a good weekend girls, I will be relaxing, drinking wine, and reading your blogs from this week. 😉 MUAH!

  1. LivKit says:

    This is too cute! I love it! Have a good weekend! 🙂

  2. Katie says:

    Love this list! I totally agree with #4 and #11 (and #1…). Hope you have a great weekend!

  3. Jenn W says:

    ahhaah love all of those….especially #5…fitted sheets bug the CRAP out of me when i tryyy to fold them. it just doesn't work.

  4. MLD says:

    I can NEVER fold a fitted sheet. I know that Martha Stewart and Oprah recently discussed that problem on an episode that I still have sitting on my DVR unwatched. I will be sure to share the secret with you after I watch!

  5. Kelsey says:

    I love your list everything is so true!

  6. Manda says:

    Love the list! Thanks for posting it i needed a laugh this afternoon!

  7. Abby says:

    Y'all are too fun! And I love that list – I could read it again and again and still find it funny!

  8. Michaela says:

    Awh this is hilarious! It made me laugh. Have a great weekend 🙂

  9. Jess says:

    Love the list!! My favorite is the fitted sheet one! haha I HATTTE those!! And they never get "folded" I can tell you how to WAD one 🙂
    Whats the point right?

    Thank you for offering to make Daisy May's Christmas picture/card for me! I may take you up on that girlfriend!

  10. Laura says:

    hahahaa… gosh… i can totally agree with all of these… wow! I'm super impressed by this list 🙂 Have a fab weekend babe! miss u!

  11. I am not using my sarcasm font when I say that this list is the most profound thing I've ever read. Just sent it to the bestie!

  12. Seriously love this list esp the word one I hate it when it asks me to save I didn't change anything you stupid computer.. LOL..

  13. Leslie says:

    I love the list!!! They're all SO true! Have a great weekend girl!!

  14. Tarryn says:

    THose are are so true and I am definitely the gal who can never find her keys even with the key hook but can hit snooze every time!

  15. Jill says:

    I have been known to dump my purse out in the floor outside my office because I cannot find the flippin keys. But snooze button? Hell yes I can find it! Love this list! Leah told me over email about your session last night of bows, veils, and cocktails. I love the name!! haha 🙂
    I think the fitted sheet thing must be why hotels put flat sheets on the mattress. It annoys the crap out of me but this has to be why. It takes the maid too long to fold/unfold the fitted sheet and causes her to curse in front of the customers!

  16. Sophie P says:

    Hilarious! Number 2, 5 and 19 really resonate with meeeee!!! Haha, hope you're well sweets XXX

  17. sugar says:

    I am literally laughing out loud! I used to care how to fold a fitted sheet, come to think of it, I used to know. Now I just don't care : )

  18. hahahaha this is all SO true!

  19. Love this!! I agree with all of them!

  20. The Mrs. says:

    LOVE that list, seriously…so funny!
    p.s. I left you a little blog award on my page! 🙂

  21. Cassie says:

    Haha I love this list. It definitely brought a smile to my face!

  22. Jessica says:

    That list is awesome, I pretty much love every single one! And could have used the "avoid ghetto" route this weekend. I was in a sketchy neighborhood!

  23. Mighty Burns says:

    lol I love these! Man #18 is just too funny 🙂

  24. Marian says:

    Some of these are soooo true for me!!! Especially number 22!! Do that all the time!!

  25. I Want to be party of bows, veils, and cocktails! That sounds amazing!

  26. -Sam I Am- says:

    I found myself saying, "Yeah. Totally. True that. Amen." to all of the adult truths hahaha. I love it! Thanks for sharing.

  27. Day Old News says:

    I think about #1 way too often. I think it's because I keep way too much on my work computer and might cry if I ever lost it. Also, as sarcasm font would end about 75% of work conflicts.

  28. Just found your blog… love it! Can't wait to read more! 🙂

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